We all have our own personal style; we choose clothes and accessories that we feel comfortable in, or wear things to portray a certain image. We experiment and sometimes might follow trends. The latter can be a dangerous thing, as we can find ourselves wearing things we’re not actually that into, just because a Kardashian or Virgil Abloh are posting about it. I want to encourage you to not do that. So, if you’re confused whether or not what you see on your Instagram feed is “cool” to wear, here’s an example of some trends (in my opinion) you should avoid.
NOTE: If you’re easily offended and take your interest in fashion too seriously, you probably should not read any further. However, if you fancy a laugh and are willing to potentially take the Mickey (mouse) out of your wardrobe choices, then continue…
- Wearing bicycle shorts when not in the gym or on a bicycle. Yes I agree they can look kind of urban-sports chic when chucked on with a jumper and maybe some fishnet tights. However, i’d say don’t make a habit of it and avoid them for more glam events…heels and cycling shorts, not too sure about that i’m afraid.
- Flip Flops in the UK during any time that is not June/July/August (even then it’s arguable.) Nobody is keen to see a strangers toes if it’s not absolutely necessary. With my current battered and bruised toe situation, trust me…I know.
- Wearing your bumbag across your chest…it’s called a BUMB BAG or FANNY PACK for a reason, it’s meant to go on that area. It’s like wrapping jeans around your head and wearing them as a hat?? Sometimes trying to go against the grain too much does not work.
- Similarly, anything camouflage that is not actually camouflage aka. bright orange camo trousers. They’re called CAMOUFLAGE for a reason.
- Bucket hats. Another attempt to be far too edgy and retro. Whenever i’ve been to festivals in the past i’ve always associated bucket hats with anyone who seems to be on Ketamine. I tried one on recently because it was PVC and I thought that might work for me…it didn’t.
- On the subject of hats, wearing any kind of American baseball or basketball cap or jumper when you’re not a) American or b) a fan of the baseball/basketball team. This also goes for wearing indie band t-shirts when you’re not actually a fan of the band…I hold my hands up, I have been guilty of this in the past.
- Cropped t-shirts that are so cropped your boobs become public knowledge. I think this may have been inspired by the 21st century supermodels and all their friends, which in turn has brain-washed most females into thinking they should do the same. However, when you think about it, parading your fried eggs around the streets isn’t the best kind of behaviour to encourage.
- Balenciaga Platform Crocs…I mean this is self-explanatory. It’s a no from me. Most people would take the p**s out of Crocs, and now just because there’s a Balenciaga label slapped on them they’re high-fashion?? I’d be intrigued to see if Ugg boots would make a come back if they did a collab with Louis Vuitton.
- Oh wait…Ugg boots are now doing a knee-high, high-heel boot range.
In the grand scheme of things my opinion should make no difference to your wardrobe choices, wear what you like when you like…in the words of Love Island’s Georgia, “do you boo.” However, if you take anything from this article it should be this, just because social media says you should doesn’t mean you should.
P.s. Just so you know, I am actually a big fan of Virgil. He’s a clever dude.